7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship - Jordan Gray Consulting
While women are more emotionally invested in their relationships, men seem to put things on the backburner and can appear to be distant. But there's rarely a space for men to express their relationship needs. And women need to know. So let's create that space. Here. Now. Maybe it. We got real men to answer the eternal question, ",What the eff is he thinking? Check out their awesome relationship advice for women.
Respect Men feel respect as love. If he feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you.
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A Sense Of Sexual Connection Men and women both connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through communication and men connect better through sex. Does this mean that men need to have sex with their intimate partners every day in order to feel connected?
Men, more often than not, connect through indicators of sexual access just as much as they do through sex. Allow me to explain… Often, a man will initiate sex just to make sure that you are still sexually available to him.
This lack of awareness around women needing to connect through words and men needing to connect through sex can sometimes turn into an unfortunate and rapid downward spiral. Talk with your partner and ask what specifically helps them feel the most loved so you can avoid these unintentional standoffs.
Emotional Intimacy From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. He can expose the cracks in his armour and allow his partner to help him heal. Just as women need to slowly open up sexually within a relationship, men open up over time emotionally. If you push him away or are unable to be nurturing when he needs it the most, he will no longer trust you with his emotions.
He will remove himself somewhat from the relationship. Space Author Deborah Tannen has written brilliantly on the masculine and feminine divide between independence and intimacy masculine being primarily drawn towards independence and the feminine toward intimacy. Within all of my relationships and the vast majority of my clients, I consistently see that it is the feminine-associated female partner that wants more time spent together and the masculine-associated male partner wanting more time apart.
There is no perfect balance to be found here. This will always be a balancing act of closeness and separateness.
But rest assured, suffocating a man either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship. We need time for our hobbies, time with our friends, and time to toil away on our projects to feel fulfilled. Traditionally, when women or the feminine associated partner needed to solve a problem, they would go further into the tribe — connecting with close friends and family and discussing their issues.
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Conversely, when men have a problem to solve, they would leave the tribe to be alone with their thoughts. So let him roam. Leave him to his own devices.
A man will be that much happier for you to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the strength of your bond enough to let him have his space.
Physical Touch Men need frequent non-sexual touch as well as a sense of sexual access. They have one commandment: Don't eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Eve eats it and then she gives it to Adam. Then Adam hides in the bushes and God asks him: Adam did you eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge that I commanded you not to eat? What did Adam do?
Did he take responsibility for what happened? He says to God, "The woman you sent me gave it to me and I ate it. He gave in to something he knew was wrong and then he blamed his wife. I thought only men today did that. Does blaming his wife help Adam avoid responsibility? God doesn't say, "Adam, I understand -- she pushed you into it. You're not responsible for what happened. He punishes Adam for eating the fruit, and for not using his own judgment.
I think it's significant that one of the first lessons in the first chapter of Genesis is about what a man should be in a relationship. My search led me to discover a lot of timeless wisdom that for generations fathers taught their sons -- wisdom that is so relevant today.
Today's absent father, either from long hours of work or divorce, means many boys grow up without a strong male role model. Here are five of the lessons I learned on my journey for wisdom on what a man in a relationship should be: Take responsibility Learn from Adam. Don't do things you know are wrong and then blame others. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for your actions. One of the meanings of the word "husband" is someone who skillfully manages his household. A manager takes responsibility.
As Adam experienced, there is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman for something that has gone wrong. He's often still held responsible.7 THINGS GUYS WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
People will ask him, "Why did you let it go on? Show leadership If a man wants to be seen as worthy and have a good relationship with a woman, he has to show leadership. When he sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. People admire those who step forward to handle difficult situations. We don't admire those who stand back and wait for others to solve the problem. Some men avoid taking the lead because they don't want to be criticized.
They think they're playing it safe. A man should say, "I'll handle it," and take the initiative to find solutions. If he's not sure what the solution is, do what other leaders do -- consult the many sources of information available.
Make decisions One of the meanings of the word "manly" is being decisive.
A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. If he's reluctant to make decisions, she may resent him. Part of making decisions is understanding the other person's views and being flexible. She doesn't want someone controlling her, but she also doesn't want someone who leaves every decision to her. A man who is afraid of making a wrong decision should ask himself: Who should make decisions?