Relationship ocd and recovery

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relationship ocd and recovery

Relationship OCD and the Doors of Uncertainty. By Annabella Hagen, LCSW, RPT-S ~ 3 min read. When Adam was about 9 years old, he began to experience . Throughout my twenties I struggled with relationship OCD (ROCD) however I only came to realise this recently. When I would date someone. ROCD (Relationship OCD), is an often misunderstood variant of OCD. through exercise, meditation and relaxation time is a key part of the recovery process.

I get up and take a walk around without an objective just to get my body moving to help stave off the anxiety. I go to the washroom to hyperventilate and cry. I tell them I sneezed five times on my way back from the washroom.

We share a laugh.

ROCD Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- intrusive thoughts about your relationship

I make a simple dinner of rice and frozen dumplings and praise myself for preparing a meal. I begin to shake. I decide to distract myself. I look for movie trailers on YouTube.

I wonder if my partner would like it. What if he hates it? What if he hates what I like? Suddenly, his opinion of this trailer, which I only kind of liked, is more important than anything. I begin to hyperventilate and my chest hurts. The room spins and my vision blurs. I check my messages and he replied. She examined my thoughts as well as my physical health. She let me speak freely. I stopped feeling so ashamed of what I was experiencing.

I discovered that my iron was low and began taking supplements, relieving some fatigue and improving my mood. I read about ROCD and recognized myself in the description. I would like to try mindfulness meditation as it was strongly recommended in many books and articles I read. I would like your opinion on this please. Thank you so much for reading my rambling. The semantics are important! See them for what they are; thought processes.

You are struggling with obsessive thoughts about your relationship, not your relationship, itself. I am guessing that when you left previous relationships, it might have been to do with what happens when you get obsessive thoughts relating to relationships. Once they take hold, it really does not matter whether your relationship is good or bad, as what is going on in your head and how it makes you feel, is just awful and overwhelming. You will know this already, but if you are obsessing about your relationship, it is just like the old OCD thoughts relating to hurting others and yourself.

They do not reflect reality. The reality is, you said it yourself, you have an amazing guy and you are relaxed and comfortable in your relationship, so we need to get the thoughts to dull down and feel less important.

My thoughts on mindfulness? Mindfulness, over time, will lessen the impact of your thought processes. You know that you are happy in your relationship, but the trouble is, your habitual thought processes do not seem to realize that yet, or this is the way it might appear. You might do, what most of us do, and wonder why you get the thoughts, or you might know that they are meaningless and just part of OCD.

That said, they can seem real. Even if you are able to separate yourself from this, the thoughts alone will feed anxiety and stop you from enjoying your relationship.

relationship ocd and recovery

Your thoughts are stealing you away from the moments you have with your boyfriend. In my opinion, if you start a mindfulness practice it will help you with a few things. After initially seeing the psychiatrist I told my parents, in the middle of a non-related argument. Not the right time, but I was sure glad to release this information. It was weird for a while, because mental illness is not something my family ever talked about, or had to deal with.

This is due to me talking openly about my therapy with her. This made it real I think. The key learning from this, was when I openly talked to them without ego or anger, they started to relate back with a sympathetic ear.

OCD can be such a painful thing to discuss for those with the disorder, I think we can sometimes get caught up in the pain and therefore relay that emotion in our conversations. The right approach in my opinion is to talk about your OCD from a point of vulnerability, and love. This allows the other person in the conversation to return in love.

Thus speeding up the healing process. I continued to struggle but manage my OCD throughout my early twenties. I would do the usual things like check I had locked the door many times, stare at the iron plug socket to make sure I turned it off, even take pictures on my phone as evidence and not eat anything if it had come into contact with anyone or anything, for fear of contamination.

Contamination OCD was always milder for me, however I had a few strong fears. Often around getting HIV. Whenever I had a sexual partner even with protection I would obsess and lose sleep over the fact that I had contracted HIV. There was this one time I was on the London Underground and this persons bag brushed my arm as they walked past me. I noticed a dot of blood, where their bag had nipped me. It was most likely a paper clip, or buckle however I was flooded with anxiety.

Confident I had contracted HIV. My mind was going a million miles an hour showing me all the possible ways it could have happened. My mind concluded that what had hit me was a needle. I obsessed over this for a few weeks. I eventually forgot it until I went to get a blood check many months later.

At this time the memory and certainty came crashing back. My blood work was clear — of course.

Laura's story: Lessons learned from rOCD | The OCD Stories

I would constantly get flashbacks of the past, however they would have added stories bolted on. The OCD saying that I hurt that person, and now their life would be awful and they would kill themselves. I would get thrown into jail and everyone would hate me etc. When I would get those thoughts, my anxiety would rise and I would do my best to prove them wrong, which only made it worse.

Beating The OCD Bully, After 21 Years Of Torment

Like pouring petrol on a fire. Some of my most anxiety fuelled periods have come as a result of HOCD. When I would date someone, I would get swarmed by anxiety. For me I have experienced both. Dating has been a very painful experience for me. Understanding what it was, was the first step to beating it.

relationship ocd and recovery

With ROCD, knowledge really was power. I needed to redefine what love was. But I have been very on and off with it. ACT in relation to OCD, basically means not questioning or justifying intrusive thoughts but to accept them. And over time the anxiety goes, and so do the thoughts. As your brain now knows these thoughts are not important to you, and it will not waste its time showing you.