Sense and sensibility elinor edward relationship counseling

Elinor Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility

sense and sensibility elinor edward relationship counseling

Marriage in Sense and Sensibility marriages in Jane Austen's didactic book reflects on her personal view on marriage. Elinor and Edward. After marrying Edward, Elinor settles down into a comfortable, happy life. Elinor Dashwood Quotes in Sense and Sensibility. The Sense and Sensibility quotes below are all either spoken by Elinor Love and Marriage Theme Icon which qualified her, though only nineteen, to be the counselor of her mother, and enabled. Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, Fanny's relationship between Marianne and Willoughby.

sense and sensibility elinor edward relationship counseling

The therapeutic alliance further heals through transference, a long-standing concept that originated in Freudian psychoanalysis but which has been retained and adapted by many current psychotherapeutic approaches. At its simplest, transference means transferring the feelings and patterns of response pertaining to an existing relationship to a subsequently established relationship.

We engage in transference all the time in daily life, and, in fact, transference explains the persistence of attachment styles.

People with insecure attachment styles tend to be insecure with their romantic partners, just as they were with their primary caregivers; they redirect the habits of feeling and thought from one relationship to another. In therapy, transference provides the opportunity to rewrite old patterns through the relationship with the therapist.

sense and sensibility elinor edward relationship counseling

Through the safety of a secure attachment relationship with the therapist, the client becomes less anxious in relationships, a change that often improves self-esteem by sending the message that the client is worthy of appropriate responses to his or her state of mind.

The corrective emotional experience is frequently a corrective attachment experience as well Bernier and Dozier. Elinor conveys the comfort, care, and resonance that Mrs. Dashwood is incapable of providing. While transference applies generally to therapeutic work, it acquires added force and efficacy in the relationship between the sisters because Elinor stands in loco parentis, not only countering but also replacing Mrs. She becomes the available older authority figure, making it easy for Marianne to associate or transfer the relationship with her mother to her sister.

Elinor starts to care for Marianne as a mother would care for an ailing child, and Marianne allows herself to be cared for in this way. It is no accident that Mrs. She reenters the narrative when Marianne lies ill, barely conscious, and she competently helps to nurse her back to health.

Marianne in Therapy » JASNA

Secure attachment, positive states of mind, and even mental health are never a done deal. Throughout our lives, we continue to seek the security provided by attachment relationships, turning to close others for support, especially in times of stress. We find resonance comforting in and of itself, even when circumstances cannot be ameliorated. We continue to want the positive regard of others, even if we already possess good self-esteem.

And we co-regulate or dysregulate with others throughout our lives. Affective empathy is at the heart of such behaviors; it is the foundation of security, self-esteem, effective self-regulation, and many other positive mental states. We are not alone as a species in our need for resonance. All mammals bond through emotional connections: But for humans, the presence or absence of affective empathy involves an additional dimension, signaling that validation is a more abstract, complex, and general sense.

Compare and Contrast the Character of Elinor and Marianne

Resonance is crucial to intra- and inter-personal functioning for humans and I suspect the other great apesin ways that percolate more subtly through feelings, moods, and enduring traits of character. A lack of resonance also adds an extra dimension of pain to loneliness and missed connections. Dogs will become depressed and non-functional if deprived of social connection, but I doubt they suffer the agony of low self-esteem or an existential sense of isolation.

Attunement appears to distinguish this relationship right from the start. Marianne and Willoughby have the same tastes and opinions, but this agreement matters only because it demonstrates how exquisitely they resonate with one another. Their attunement lies in their love for one another, which organizes itself around other shared feelings and experiences. Or so it seems. In the heartless letter that ends her hopes, Willoughby denies having felt anything but mild friendship for Marianne and virtually accuses her of having imagined their love: That I should ever have meant more you will allow to be impossible, when you understand that my affections have long been engaged elsewhere.

Long after Marianne knows that Willoughby has jilted her, his feelings and motives continue to matter. I know he did. Whatever may have changed him now, and nothing but the blackest art employed against me can have done it, I was once as dear to him as my own soul could wish.

This lock of hair, which now he can so readily give up, was begged of me with the most earnest supplication. Had you seen his look, his manner, had you heard his voice at that moment! How can she trust herself, or anyone else, ever again? Teasing out the implications of this feeling a bit further, we can say that, in that case, Marianne would be condemned to a kind of cosmic loneliness, imprisoned within her own perceptions and alone with her own feelings because she is unable to connect emotionally in the ways that people connect with one another.

The experience is annihilating, and the definition of this word is worth citing. Such feelings of annihilation can lead to suicidal despair. As psychologist Thomas Joiner observes, suicidal thinking involves feelings of not belonging and of being ineffectual, powerless to make a mark on the world you live in, which is how Willoughby has made Marianne feel.

Ironically, by imagining herself dead, Marianne rediscovers the validation that had been lost to her in her depression. How could you have consoled her? By picturing the devastating effects of a real rather than a psychological annihilation, Marianne is able to find herself again, present in the minds and hearts of those who love her, and so present to herself as well.

Sense And Sensibility

As if in reward for being able to turn away from the annihilating deathblow delivered by Willoughby and to focus on the affirmation she finds in the love of her family, Marianne finds out that her perceptions about Willoughby had been accurate.

When she lies ill, Willoughby comes to see Elinor in the dead of night with a message for Marianne. He tells Elinor that he had indeed loved Marianne, that his feelings for her were genuine, and that he disregarded them to marry a woman whose fortune would pay his debts and enable him to gratify his expensive tastes.

The cruel letter that nearly killed Marianne had been dictated by the woman who is now his wife. He regrets his decision and wants Marianne to know that their love was real. Fortunately, Elinor can assure Marianne that what she saw and felt was real: Willoughby did love her. Third-person omniscience might be thought of as a kind of empathy with fictional people.

Disapproval generally focuses on the value of empathy as a moral force. Critics argue that empathy is prone to bias, that we tend to have empathy for those who are like us or close to us, and with individuals rather than groups.

Other motives such as guilt or the desire to do the right thing can lead to better outcomes than empathy.

sense and sensibility elinor edward relationship counseling

The drawbacks of empathy might have much to do with our social development as a species. Empathy does tend to be evoked by the plight of individuals, but for most of the history of homo sapiens sapiens, society consisted of individuals, with each person known to the entire community.

Compare and Contrast the Character of Elinor and Marianne

Humans were hunter gatherers for millennia. Therapy, even group therapy, is largely a matter of individuals interacting with one another, and this dynamic might be why, in a therapeutic context, empathy is generally seen as an important and benevolent force.

I discuss the psychological and neurobiological characteristics of romantic love in chapter 6 of my book Jane on the Brain: Works Cited Abela, John R. All things Jane Austen 13 Feb. The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty. Bernier, Annie, and Mary Dozier. Evidence from Interpersonal and Attachment Research. Theory, Research, Practice, Training The Case for Rational Compassion. American Psychological Association, A Case for a Narrow Conceptualization.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Decety, Jean, and Meghan Meyer. A Social Developmental Neuroscience Account. Development and Psychopathology 20 Jane Austen Her figure, though not as correct as Elinor's and though not having the advantage of height, is more impressive; and her face is much lovelier.

Marianne's complexion is uncommonly brilliant; her features are all good; her smile is sweet and attractive and in her eyes there is a life, a spirit, and an eagerness which fills an onlooker with delight.

Thus Marianne may physically be described as an alluring and enchanting girl, while Elinor is physically just presentable or just attractive, and full of grace and charm.

The two sisters represent two entirely different kinds of human temperaments; and this contrast between the two has been sketched for us by the novelist at the very outset. Elinor possesses a strength of understanding and a coolness of judgment by virtue of which she, though only nineteen years, is capable of being her mother's counselor.

sense and sensibility elinor edward relationship counseling

She is able, by means of these qualities, to keep in check her mother's eagerness of mind which would otherwise have led that lady to acts of imprudence. Elinor's disposition is certainly affectionate, and her feelings are certainly strong. But she knows how to govern her affections and her feelings.

Elinor Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility

This capacity to govern the feelings and the emotions is something alien to her mother as well as to her sister Marianne. Marianne's abilities are, in many respects, quite equal to Elinor's.

She is sensible and clever, but she is too eager in everything, so that her sorrow and her joys know no moderation. She is everything but prudent, and in this respect she resembles her mother closely. Elinor feels somewhat worried because of her sister's excessive sensibility; but their mother values and cherishes this trait of Marianne's.

Dashwood and Marianne tend to encourage each other in the intensity of their misery and sorrow, as, for instance, when the family is badly treated by Fanny. Elinor too feels miserable at this time; but she has the capacity to struggle against her misery and to exert herself, whereas Marianne and Mrs. Dashwood simply surrender to their misery. The entire contrast between the characters of Elinor and Marianne may be summed up by saying that, while Elinor embodies sense, Marianne embodies sensibility.

Elinor can exercise restraint upon her feelings; she possesses the strength to command her feelings and emotions; she has the virtue of prudence; and she tends to be stoical in the face of disappointment or failure.

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Marianne is susceptible to feeling to an excessive degree. She is lacking in self-command, in self-restraint, and in the capacity to keep her emotions under control. The contrast between the two sisters, as stated by the novelist herself at the outset, is the most conspicuous feature of this novel. The story of the novel gives us incident after incident to demonstrate this contrast so that it is indelibly impressed upon our minds, no matter what the scholarly critics might say in this context.

In fact the novel is, on the whole, a story of "the loving tension" between the two sisters. The "tension" arises from their different views about things and persons, and from their disagreements; but it is a "loving," tension because they feel a genuine mutual affection, and are deeply attached to each other. They have different criteria of judging Edward's worth. One of the earliest incidents to bring out this contrast is Edward Ferrar's visit to Norland Park when the mother with her three daughters is yet living there.

Elinor and Marianne react to this young man in absolutely different ways. Elinor begins to admire and love him, while Marianne cannot understand why Elinor not only admires him, but has also fallen in love with him. Marianne finds Edward's manner of reading out a poem to be spiritless, tame, and devoid of sensibility. She also feels disappointed by Edward's having no taste in music and having no capacity even to admire Elinor's drawings or the beauties of nature in the right perspective.

Elinor, on the contrary, feels attracted by Edward because of what she regards as his sense and his goodness. She is attracted by Edward's views about literature, by his enjoyment of books, by his lively imagination, and by his accurate observation. Thus the two sisters have altogether different criteria of judging the worth of a man. Elinor shows adverse reaction to Marianne's friendship with Willoughby.

Marianne becomes quickly attached to Willoughby after her very first meeting with him.