My Long Distance Boyfriend has Gone Off the Grid | Ask the Therapist
I asked for space and distance (he said he wanted to remain .. For the first 5 months of our relationship he seemed to adore me, we have. Understanding Men in a Long Distance Relationship I met this great guy online and we've been 'dating' long distance for 7 months. He hasn't indicated any level of annoyance when I have gone a bit overboard with trying. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to ghosted by her long-distance boyfriend during a trip she made to see visit him. We talked about a future — getting engaged in six to eight months.
For three months, it was out of-this-world-crazy good. No one could fault this man for the effort he made to be with me. There were no secrets with life, belongings, history, etc.
My Long Distance Boyfriend has Gone Off the Grid
During our three great months, he met one of my children and corresponded with another one who had professional questions. His children were never where I could meet them, but he wanted me to.
Everything seemed like love. We both remarked that it was like a magnetic attraction pulling us tighter and tighter.
I certainly had not. We called and texted daily. Then, a series of tragedies over the course of a month made him go off the grid. He totally quit communicating two different times, with a short reconciliation in the middle. The first time was all easily and believably explained and he was quiet for only three days, but when he resurfaced, he apologized because he could tell he had hurt me. Then we met up and had three amazing days and the second they were over, the bizarre amount of personal, professional, and family crises started up again.
In this last month, both of us have had multiple life traumas and life-changing experiences, including family members dying, pets dying, major job promotions, child graduations, family vacations, car accidents, and some very traumatic gut-wrenching issues that our respective children have had to navigate through.
But, he pulled out rather than relying on me or communicating with me. What happens to someone when they are under extreme stress? Why did he choose giving up versus staying in. I want to make excuses to myself for his behavior: But, why zero information regarding that? I expressed to him how I hurt when he disappeared, but I get no response which is cruel.
I could completely relate to what you said about how women see and want things verses men. While I understand this intellectually, I have to constantly remind myself because I get caught up in my head and become insecure. Thankfully, I don't go off on him - not my personality. I have spoken to him about how women's minds don't work the same - I'd like to hear from him more than I do.
He has made an effort to call me once a week which I appreciate. I'm glad you posted a reminder that men can and do love us when we are apart. I'm keeping the faith. I really like this man. He is a good match for me in many ways. Im in my mid fifties now.
I moved back to the USA ten years ago. For the past two years have been in a relationship with a man in Canada, miles from my home. Last year he drove down to my house nearly every month, stayed for two-five weeks at a time. Then he went home to Australia to visit family for six weeks after leaving my house in Jan. Before he left he told me that he bought a sim card for his trip so we can communicate.
I didn't hear from him until he returned home to Canada in March!. By that time I was heartbroken and considered myself single.
Went back on match. He flew to my house within two weeks of our meeting.
Long Distance Relationship – Exactly How To Make It Work – LDR Advice
He fell in love with me the first visit. He said that he would do anything just to be with me and he didn't want to live one more day without me.
He went home and came back the following month, then the month after i went to his home. By this time we were both deeply in love. I'm in my mid fifties, have dated many men. Ive had some wonderful relationships with awesome guys Ive never laughed more with anyone else or ever felt as comfortable etc.
We were considering marriage etc. Until he hit a brick wall and decide he isn't strong enough to follow thru with finding a new job and make a new life in his mid fifties He decided not to pursue our relationship any longer. I was even considering going to his place in mid winter to see if its doable for me, as I have moved around in my life. I believe its not where you are but its who you are with that makes life happy. Now I'm at a point where i miss him daily.
We have reduced Skype to once a week My case is different. My partner is a sailor and is away 2 months, at home 2 months, all year I don't particularly enjoy my alone time as I miss him so much! He writes nice texts and messages everyday, which is absolutely lovely but I am thinking that he prefers being away than spending time with me I love him and don't want to end this relationship but I don't know how to cope with this distance and think that there might never be a "end date" to that And I actually was implementing all of these.
And it was working, until I lost faith, unfortunately. I just assumed because he wasn't responding that he didn't care.What To Do When he Pulls Away
And I flipped out at him via text. And I believe that this "flip-out" not only ended our future as a romantic couple, but also as friends. We were good friends. For me, I actually really enjoy long distance relationships, since I really enjoy my alone-time and being single to do as I please My ideal relationship would probably be 3 months close, and 3 months far, or 6 months close and 6 months far I was trying to build my business, so it would allow me to live overseas for part of the year.
Unfortunately, one can only live in Italy on a guest visa, for 3 months straight.
And every other visa is very difficult to get. Of course, there is the marriage Visa - but I am not a fan of marrying anyone I haven't known for at least a year of "in-person, in the same place" time. My dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world's leading relationship expert. I was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did I learn a lot.
So when I first started dating, I assumed I had it all figured out.