Ask Gigi — Gigi Engle
This column change life: dating advice to which the world is full of lovelorn males cruelly relegated to friend status by the women they desire. Posts about advice column for men & women written by Dear Sybersue Dating Relationship Coach & Advice Columnist. Are you sick of dating all of the wrong women or of having no dates at all? If so, April April's Q & A relationship advice columns answer your questions, like.
Our break ups were always up to him. And, his actions match his words. He knows you want a committed relationship that leads to marriage. At least not now. Keeping it casual means he has sex with you, without a commitment. But it would only be good to you if you read it and took it to heart. So, listen to him. You want different things. So here it is: I have dated this guy for 17 months. We spend almost every weekend together. I met his kids.
I went to his family activities with him. He told me he was living with his sister and her children on the other side of town. I never went to her house. When I asked him about it, he admitted it. He has not been back to their house since. Should I wait for him to get this resolved, or is he a double crosser, and I should just leave him alone? The same goes for his home. This guy has set up a trust trap, so anything you want to trust about what he says, may fall into the trap.
The way you found out about his betrayal was not good. He only came clean because you found him out and pressed him.
This is not your guy. Not by a long shot. Learn your lesson on this one, and take the fact that you were double crossed to heart so it only happens this one time and not again. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years now and we live together. He cheated on me once when we first got together, which caused us to break up, but then we got back together a year later.
Apparently, the two women are best friends again, after a long rift. He was talking to both of them. What do I do? I can understand how upset you are. Betrayals are very difficult to get past. Instead of seeing this situation as a threat, consider it an opportunity.
The stronger the two of you are, the less likely any one or any thing is to break you.
Now, things are different. You have years of a happy relationship with him under your belt, a new baby, and the start of a new family together.
You know each other a lot better, and those are all building blocks for your relationship health. Continue to find ways to spend time together.Love vs. Sexual Attraction: Dating and Relationship Advice for Men - a talk by David Tian, Ph.D.
Entice and seduce him, send love letters and do little things for him, like bringing homemade cookies to his office, and make him want to be loyal to you rather than lowering the boom and making demands and setting ultimatums which are going to make him feel worse about his relationship with you, not better. That said, if you can tell your boyfriend that it upsets you when he has contact with the woman he cheated on you with, he may want to make you feel secure by not being around her.
So keep your eye on the prize, not the petty potholes in the road to life, that turn up on the way. I met a guy online a few months ago and we really hit off. I was going through a divorce and he was separated from his wife. I owe it to myself and to my wife to try and make things work.
Five days later he calls and says that he had made a mistake. He wanted me back. I agreed, but, he has blown hot and cold with me ever since.
He actually went two weeks with no contact. Then came the Hey you, How have you been? But the fact that he was only married for six months before separating from his wife tells you a lot about him. His six month marriage verifies it. During the first three months of dating someone, use that time to get to know them and figure out if you want to continue dating them. Continuing to play the field and assuming that they are, too, keeps you from getting too invested, too quickly.
During the second three months of dating, decide if this is someone you want to be monogamous with. My boyfriend and I are in love.
I love him so much that I transferred child custody rights to my parents, and I have very little to do with my daughter, now. Her father is not in the picture.
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But even after this sacrifice, his friends are now advising my boyfriend not to marry me because they say that any woman who would walk away from her child is not worth marrying. How can I convince him to marry me? There are lots of different ways that both people benefit from companionship to financial stability to shared goals to enjoying family life the ways and reasons people come together to marry are uncountable because there are so many!
It sounds like you understood his issues from the get go and you went along with the relationship knowing the odds of marriage were slim to none. Whenever you have a child, under whatever circumstances, good or bad, your life has to change so that the child comes first.
You can date, marry, divorce but your child has to come first in all of those scenarios. So, drop this guy like a hot potato and chalk the failure up to incompatibility. Go get your daughter back and reverse the custody rights so you can commit to raising her as she deserves, and find a man who loves you and wants to be a step-dad. There are wonderful men out there, but you have to make yourself single, and willing to look for them.
Does He Love Me? My partner and I have been together for six years. We just had our second child. I am totally in love with him, but we hardly spend any time together as a couple and all our energy is focused on the kids. I even heard him say about two months ago about making an honest women of me. He says he is happy but there is something missing.
I am so confused and shocked. Signed, Does He Love Me?
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Dear Does He Love You: There seems to be a discrepancy between the two. It happens in relationships and marriages where there are little kids and the focus of the woman naturally shifts towards caregiving for the children, and away from the relationship with her man. My suggestion is that you redirect your efforts and your energy towards him and make him feel special and wanted. Talk about the future and what goals you have as individuals, a couple and a family.
Enlist family and friends to babysit the kids, and put him first! Take another look at yourself, as well. Lots of women who have kids pour all their energy into the kids, and let themselves go. Get a nice haircut, and start wearing makeup around the house for him. In other words, get back to the seductive, mysterious you that he may feel he lost when you became a mother. I am currently married to man that is twenty years older than me.
He treats me like a child. My other four were 6, 8, 12 and He has eight kids of his own, two of whom are minors. The others are adults. We recently bought a house together with my divorce settlement money, but I am very frustrated and feel stuck. He does take care of us but I feel he could be doing more if he would put us first and not the others.
Am I selfish that I hate he shares our money so much? Take the emotions out of the process, if you can. A male co-worker, 37, started inviting me to his house two days a week to cook for me and we would cuddle on the couch. Lots of intimacy, no sex. Three months after that, he wanted to give his ex-girlfriend another chance.
I gave him his space, but then two months later, he started acting like I was the most important person in his world during the week and now we spend some very good quality time during the week, he even invited me to look at houses with him, since he wants to buy one.
However I never see him on the weekends.
We used to text on the weekends but the last 4 weekends he has been completely silent. Should I just turn our relationship strictly back over to work?
advice column for men & women – Dating Relationship Lifestyle Advice
Signed, Clueless Dear Clueless: If your value's extremely high, you take your pick. The rest of us must settle for the best we can get. This isn't entirely wrong. On first impression, people do tend to agree about who's most attractive. But a US study just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology should cheer anyone who doesn't think of themselves as one of the beautiful people: Researchers Paul Eastwick and Lucy Hunt asked a group of heterosexual students to rate their opposite-sex classmates for such qualities as attractiveness, warmth and potential for success.
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At the start, they largely agreed who came out on top, but three months in, the consensus had vanished. As the students got to know each other, more and more of them acquired a few secret admirers.
As the authors put itsummarising their research in the New York Times: All you need is for others to have the patience to get to know you, and a more level playing field should follow.