5 Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship - wikiHow
You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. Keep your partner's secrets. If your partner has told you something confidential, you should not. It takes more than love to have a great relationship. In order to keep your relationship strong and healthy, you have to work on it.
This collaborative mindset makes us more loving and generous. Follow the three-day gratitude plan. They perceived their partner as being more understanding, validating, caring, and generally more responsive. And they were more satisfied with the quality of their relationship overall. Find three qualities that you love about your partner and focus on those three qualities for the entire day. Identify three things that irritate you about your partner.
Now forgive them for these things. For the entire day speak only kind words to your significant other. Think of the three day plan as a cleansing which allows you to clear out feelings that keep your relationship from thriving.
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Over the course of a day we have a variety of positive and negative experiences. This is also true when it comes to our relationship with our significant other. Most people think that as long as the positive experiences outweigh the negative, everything is fine. Research has shown that the magical ratio for a flourishing relationship is at or above 3: That is, you need to have three times more positive experiences with your partner than negative experiences in order to have a healthy relationship.
Keep the novelty alive. One of the positive aspects of being in a relationship with someone for a long time is that you really get to know each other. The negative side of this is that the novelty wears off, and humans love novelty.
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Keep the playfulness alive. We all love to play, regardless of our age. In addition, the next time that your partner says something that bothers you, try responding with a joke instead of getting defensive. Give your partner space. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer used porcupines to explain a dilemma which often exists in human relationships. Two porcupines trying to keep warm will move closer to one another.
However, if they get too close they prick each other with their spines. The same thing happens in human relationships: Show each other daily physical affection. This stands for apology, affection, and a promise of action.
Offer a meaningful gesture of warmth, such as a hug or a kiss. Pledge to take action that is meaningful to them. Focus on the positive. Terri Orbuch has been conducting a long-term study since on what makes couples happy and strengthens relationships. She advises that couples resolve to focus on the positive.
She explains that happy couples focus on what is going well in their relationship, rather than focusing on what is going wrong. In addition, if you do need to call attention to a negative aspect, try to do it in a positive way.
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For example, if your partner is messy try telling them something like the following: Try going out with the people you love and care about the most — watch movies together, go out to eat, take a day off from your busy life and just enjoy being you! If it helps, also talk about your feelings about the relationships in your life. If you just want them to listen, start by telling them that. Then ask what makes relationships good and what makes them bad? Along the way, if you need advice, feel free to contact us.
Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control.
Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind. Consider these points as you move forward: Understand that a person can only change if they want to.Caregiving Seminar: It's Not Just About You Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep.
If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it. Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Remember, our advocates are always ready to talk if you need a listening ear. Think about breaking up. Remember that you deserve to feel safe and accepted in your relationship. Even though you cannot change your partner, you can make changes in your own life to stay safe.
Consider leaving your partner before the abuse gets worse.
Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure to use our safety planning tips to stay safe. Remember, you have many options — including obtaining a domestic violence restraining order.