Looking outside the relationship

13 Reasons Why You Crush On People Outside Of Your Relationship

looking outside the relationship

Relationships suffer when one person expects all their needs satisfied by their START LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS WITHIN YOU, NOT OUTSIDE OF YOU. Relationships don't look like they used to (and that's a good thing). Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn't. At the beginning of my relationship with Tom, I had a very to avoid being alone since you have a life outside of the relationship if it ends.

A sexual affair, except for very unusual circumstances, is a betrayal of the intimacy of the primary relationship. An emotional affair can be as painful for some if the energy or time spent and the intimacy of that relationship are inordinate and thus damage the primary relationship. Use jealousy as a warning, but not as a reason to become antagonistic and possessive.

If You Want a Healthy Relationship, Get a Life! | HuffPost

Jealousy can be a wakeup call to put more effort into the relationship and to explore why it is that your partner is attracted to that particular person. Of course, it can also indicate that there is something more serious going on.

No relationship can embody every possibility in life, because every relationship is limited by the experiences and capacities of the two people involved. Nor can we expect to satisfy every need and desire of each other. Attractions point out the qualities we are ready to bring into our lives and possibly also into the relationship.

looking outside the relationship

For example, a couple might have a financially stable situation, a secure family life, and an active social life. Yet, there might be a lot of potential for growth in the area of sensuality, adventure, or spirituality. The husband may find himself repeatedly drawn to sensuous women, or the wife might be drawn to rugged adventurers. Someone who lives primarily from the passions with his partner might be drawn to calm, stable types, and so forth.

Specific efforts could be taken to become more sensual, take adventurous trips, or work on being more grounded, for example.

Ask yourself or ask him without hostility what it is that draws him to the other woman.

Ten Signs Your Relationship Is All Wrong For You | HuffPost Life

For example, is it her ability to listen to him without criticizing him? Revolving your life around someone is a turn off to many people. It took her several more painful breakups for her to get a life, which led to getting into a good relationship.

Getting a life means pursuing passions that aren't dependent on having a partner and nurturing your own circle of friends who aren't part of your couple activities. Most important in my view is getting comfortable spending time with yourself. I accomplished this by building strong self-love, one small loving act at a time.


It helped me to appreciate myself and still motivates taking loving care of me. I enjoyed the freedom of doing things my way and not having to worry about convincing someone to go with me. When you have a life, you control your happiness and are more content.

Being happy in your own skin builds confidence and an energy that makes you more attractive to people. Plus it prevents feeling pressure to keep your relationship together to avoid being alone since you have a life outside of the relationship if it ends. You can relax and enjoy and let things flow, knowing you and your partner are together because you want to be, not need to be.

If You Want a Healthy Relationship, Get a Life!

Think of yourself as an adult on your own and check out all opportunities available that can lead to more fulfillment. It is completely different from the love that is shared between two people which is often conditional and temporary. It is vastly different from the love that is projected onto someone we believe may be a partner. I have sensed it in other moments, when in the presence of wonderful Tibetan lamas. Eyes soften, the face melts, and body sensations almost disappear.

It lasts for hours, sometimes days. I have felt it around other people who are not famous cultivators of compassion. It just is there in their presence. Having sought the emotion and other side effects that were believed to be love, I prefer the gentler, all pervasive presence of what seems to be love.

I am not saying there is only one kind of love, this love all around. Nor am I saying that other kinds of love are not enjoyable.

looking outside the relationship

Let it find you. How do we open up to this kind of love? Metta loving-kindness develops a deep sense of peace, happiness, health, and equanimity. When we foster it, we can then wish for our friends, families, and even strangers to experience the same. We can wish for that same sense of happiness for those to whom we feel anger, resentmentand irritation and for those who treat us with disdain.

Tonglen is taking on the suffering of others as our own, and giving them our peace, happiness, wellness, and equanimity. It is not a practice for the feint-hearted, but when it becomes familiar, these thoughts arise more frequently in difficult situations.

They replace judging, criticism, blame and self-cherishing. When we ask about their lives, their hurts, and their difficulties, compassionate understanding and empathy arise. Each and all these practices can develop a warm heart over time. Perhaps they are the kindling for love all around. Enjoy a sense of this peace at her website: Please contact us so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post?

looking outside the relationship

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